Flush Away

I went to the gallery, cause that's where we'll have our annual gift exchange. I was holding a bag and so was she, a paper bag of course... It looks suspicious.

" Here you go Darren, you have a responsibility now. Make sure it doesn't die"

I handed her the book, and took the paper bag from her hand. What living thing?

" Now you have to feed them once a day and pour out the water once every 3 days but not the whole thing, just half of it, then you'd have to pour in water again..."

Wait..wait wait... them? How many are they, and what are they?

Fishes.. 2 of 'em.

I walked back up to my office, removed the fish and put it in the aquarium she got me.. Nice, now I have living things to take care of. You can't mess this up Darren, this will be the proof of how responsible you can be.

Just to be clear I asked her again..

" 3 small pallets per fish..."

3 ? that's soo little, I know these guys are small and all, but 3 is just starving them, I took a pinch and scattered the on the surface, seeing the fishes scurry for food is just fun for me. Yes, grow big and strong... Be fruitful and multiply!!!

oh, it's 1.30pm, lunch time.

I went down to Ming Tien, had my lunch, went back up to check on my fishes.

Aww, look, one of them is doing a trick. He or she is playing dead...

The other one was swimming frantically. What will you do if the lifeless body of your friend was floating beside you, stomach up?

AH, crap, I just killed it...

Took it out, the lifeless body looking at me. Was hoping that at any moemnt it would jump up agian, sorta like a joke.

" You've been Punked, my new owner..muahahaha!"

It didn't happen, Ashton Kutcher was nowhere to be seen. It still wasn't breathing.

I let it go. Flush.

I just flushed my first fish.

23

Hmm... What can I say... Here I am a year older than I was.. last year, man that sounds weird.. haha

So what's new about Darren C. Edward? What has changed since last year? Was I any different? If you have been reading my blog for the past 3 years, well, yea, perhaps there has been some changes in my life, minor ones and some major ones...

For this particular year, there's been too many changes, to me of course. Since my last birthday , I am now a Junior lecturer, was a tutor back then, so yea, life's a bit different right now. My journey of self improvements has been really interesting for me. In my quest of searching God and myself, I have encountered obstacles and even unforgettably joyous occasions.

I cannot help but acknowledge God for all the good things He has done for me even including the bad ones. I feel as though I've grown so much more than I have these past few years and I cannot really express how grateful I am to Him for that.

Since last year, I've been talking about my true purpose in life and all. It's seems rather difficult for most people to find their true purpose in life, or like some might call it, their vocation in life. But there are some who find it rather easily, good for them. I find myself falling in the 1st category. For quite some time now my friends have been asking me to well, find a different job, look for other opportunities someplace else, and I myself have been contemplating furthering my studies in the US.

I am proud to announce that yes I have found my calling, or rather my vocation in life. I will announce this when everything is in black and white, though some of you may already know what it is. I urge those who do to please keep it to yourselves till I announce it myself. Not like I'm selfish or anything, that's just how I roll baby.. haha...

Well how did I celebrate my birthday?

I woke up feeling fresh but sort of tired since I slept really late the previous night. Went to college. Turned on my facebook account and started replying all the birthday wishes from my friends. God bless them. Went to Sunway Pyramid to check out the price of Tuxedo for Bard, came back and marked my students' works. Finished work. Went to have Bah Kut Teh with both Victor and Tracy. Went to Prayer Meeting. After that went to Snowflake and enjoyed their specialty. Then ended the night with Ganja Burger Special with Tim and Garry...

That's how my birthday was. I wish I could've typed in more things, exciting things, like, today is my birthday and I stopped a robbery.. Now that would be cool, but no, my birthday was plain and simple.

Was chatting with a friend of mine and he asked me what're my plans for the night, I told him I had non and he asked why not ask the gang out to some kinda activity. My reply was simple. Why should I, it would be ridiculous for me to organise something just to celebrate my own birthday.. Nah, a simple one will do. When you come to think about it, you'd be the only person excited about your birthday since to everyone else, it's just yet another day.

So that's it for my 23rd birthday. Like I mentioned in facebook, I am now and older man, but am I a better man? I believe God has made me so, I believe so.

Till then. God Bless!

BTW: here's my previous posts for my previous birthdays:

• 21
• 22
  

Tumblr: Used

Yeap, I officially have a Tumblr account.

I have decided I will still keep my Blogspot, there are just some things that Tumblr cannot provide, so yea, I'll keep both, though I have decide to compartmentalise my blogs.

Gothallica:Noir will be for Art, Movies, Music. Basically things that I enjoy and have an opinion on, and yes, that includes comic books and TV Series.

Boleh-wood will be for everything else

That's it for now, God Bless!

Tumblr

Tumblr looks nice, might move... might...

I dislike sunsets

Semester just started, which means there are more and more things for me to concentrate on.

First of all The One Academy new semester has just started. New classes to teach, new subjects to teach, tons of assignments to mark....

First XEE training semester has just started, a lot of sacrifices to be made, phone numbers to be called, and people to bless...

Everything in my life seems to be running all at once at the same time. Sometimes "I feel like thinly spread butter on too much bread." (Quote taken directly from Bilbo Baggins in The Lord of The Rings motion picture..ps..LOTR rules!!!) So many things to handle, so little time.

Yet it is not a time from lamenting, but rejoicing. As Rev. Khee Vun had mentioned today in his sermon, just like the psalmist in Psalms 22, we must always have balance in our lamentations. We know we have hardships ahead of us, yet we rejoice in God for it. Did He not help us in our time of need? Did He not guide us through the thick and thin of our lives? Before we were even born He knew us and cared for us, surely that is proof enough that He will never leave us.

I am afraid and excited at the same time. Same way that I've felt hosting Tim Lim's debut album launch.

Nervous as I was, I think I did ok for my first hosting gig.. haha.. Yes, there were a lot of hiccups. I stood outside of the spotlight, I forgot to introduce myself, I stuttered and messed up my lines. But all and all, I'm glad I took the opportunity when it was presented. I have to thank God for giving me the boldness and courage and wisdom to do what I did, surely everything comes from Him and of His own do we give Him. I'd like to thank Tim too for considering me as his M.C for his album launch, hope that we have the chance to work together again in the future. And finally how could I forget all those who've supported me and encouraged me. My family and my friends, of which whom always supported me in this. Hitz.FM here I come..haha...

A friend of mine recently suggested that I should be doing traveling shows, where I get to travel around and talk about the places and meet new people. Yea, that sounds like the dream job right there..haha.. Though I would have to be very famous and devilishly handsome to be considered for the job. One more to go to my dream job. haha.

Another friend of mine just left for her studies not few days ago, she came by the college to say her goodbyes, we hugged and she left. I suck at goodbyes.

Sometimes I wish I was more articulate. Though most will wish I was less...haha.. but I always had a weakness in goodbyes. What does one say to someone you might not see for a long time, or perhaps never again?

See you later?

Safe Journey?

I'll miss you?

Au revoir?

No, I don't think any of those are good enough for goodbyes. To express oneself or perhaps the hole in which was left due to the departure of said friend takes more than words to express. At least for me.

So I will always find myself looking dumbfounded, looking at said friend getting visually smaller and smaller. This is of course due to diminution of size which occurs when a subject is shifted further and further away from the viewer. Leaving a rather lukewarm feeling among both of us. Which is always the worst way of saying goodbye.

So, it may be safe to say that if I care enough for someone I will find it harder to say goodbye to him or her. Or I may not say goodbye at all, just a shrug will do, or a nod, followed by me walking away.

I just suck at goodbyes.

Perhaps that's why I dislike Sunsets. Beautiful as they are, they always give me a sense of ending. The end of a holiday perhaps or the end of beach party. Not saying goodbye will not stop the sun from setting, neither will it stop your friend from leaving.

From my busy schedule to sunsets....

Well, till next time , God Bless!!

I'm Filipino!!

Ha...that's a very strong statement to make..

21st of August, I took a 7 day 6 nights holiday to Makati Philippines with my mother, uncle and his Godson. My uncle wanted to go for a trip, and I decided to tag along, since it's been awhile since my last holiday. the last being The Redang Trip last year.

This was my uncle's 3rd trip to Philippines and after hearing all the nice things he has to say about the place, I've decided to give it a try. Well was it good?

First of all, I have to admit, we didn't really go there for the sightseeing. Though many may argue that there are tons of places with breathtaking scenic views, my family prefers to shop..Yeap, you heard me , shop. The exchange rate is RM7.77 for 100 Pesos. So you can imagine how much cheaper things are over there...Now things didn't really get all too cheap like what you're thinking now... the stuff over there is basically at least RM 5- RM 10 cheaper to what we have in Malaysia, which when you come to think of it, is quite a whole lot.

When I joined in the trip, I had no idea where we were going to stay, and later I found out, neither did my uncle. Well, he knew where it was, but he had no idea what that place looked like, was there shops nearby, was it a nice neighborhood, or whatever. The worst part was that he said we were going to a hotel...

Yea, it wasn't.

All the while I thought the taxi had taken a wrong turn since we were getting further and further away from the city and into the under developed areas. Suddenly it looked like I was in Inanam or Tuaran but worse, like way worse. The taxi stopped and as we looked out, we were in front of the quaint motel my uncle had booked for us , which he so conveniently declared to be a hotel. Can't imagine how big a difference could one small little letter make..haha..

Either ways, I reminded myself that hey, this is just yet another interesting experience for me and I dragged our bags out of the taxi. We were greeted by the workers at the motel/ apartelle, then their dog, yes, there was a dog there, a Sharpei, for those who have no idea what a Shar Pei is, its that Chinese Bulldog. Very cute yet kinda big for its kind too. I was told that she was blind, that's why she didn't notice us when we came in, but she did take a good smell at each of us, then she continued sleeping.

I was disappointed, for that one brief moment, or at least perplexed or dumbfounded, or whatever you wanna call it. Right there and then I thought, oh crap, what else didn't my uncle tell us. I had planned how I was going to spend my time over in the Philippines. Shopping in the daytime, trying their many delicacies, spending time in the hotel pub getting to know the locals and share interesting stories with each other. I basically painted a mental picture of it. Yet, as soon as I stepped out of the taxi, everything just went "POOF!".

But in time I enjoyed my stay there, yes it was located in a dreadful looking neighbourhood but it was the best looking place in that area. They have a very charming looking rest area, the place is very clean, the people, very friendly.

We did however try looking for another place to live in, thinking that we can do better. We stopped by this one apartment which turned out to be a nightmare. The place was really dark, even though it was 10 am in the morning, the hostess showed us around, the corridors were ark and shady, at one point we couldn't see where we were walking cause there were no lights, she showed us the room, and man was it bad. This sad looking room, with a bed and a table and a toilet and that's it...It looked like a set for that horror film Hostel. Right there and then, we knew that Makati Apartelle was the place for us and we never second guessed our first motel again.

Maybe I should list down the things I like about my trip in Philippines:

The people are kind

and I really mean this. It was weird and it took me quite some time to take it all in. The whole time we were there we could not stop but acknowledge how kind and well mannered the Filipinos were. Foreigners say that Malaysians are friendly people, but what they don't know is Malaysians are only friendly towards foreigners not among each other.

The Exchange Rate

It makes buying things a lot easier, yea, not kidding. I didn't really go all out on the spending, cause well, I just don't do that. But I can show some comparison.

1 Marvel comic book roughly costs RM 16 where as it cost RM 11 over there.
GI Joe action figure costs RM 49.90 here but it cost RM 32 over there.

The best part was when my uncle and I bought some pastries form the local bakery, we purposely chose the most expensive items that they had , bought about 8 different buns, and it cost us RM2.. yea...

This is of course just a rough comparison of the cost of things but I hope you get the gist of it.

It's Safer

It would be unfair for me to claim this seeing that I was only there for 7 days, but Philippines did give me that impression. Remember I was staying in a very run down area and at night it just gets worse. People washing their clothes and taking their baths in the sidewalks, children running around naked, some playing with tyres, people living on boxes and so on. Yet never did my and uncle and I feel unsafe among them, though I would not bring any female companion walking around that area at night, it's just common sense.

Did I mention they have security inspection in every entrance in any shopping center? There would be 2 security guards with drumsticks, and they'd use it to poke around your bags if you have any to check for any weapons and such, felt weird at first but got used to it. Some shops even check your temperature before you enter. Yet in Malaysia, where H1N1 cases are rising in such an alarming rate, no one's temperature is checked. There are no hand sanitisers prepared in the toilets and so on. So much for our developed country.

The Women

I'm a guy, so yes, I observe such things, it doesn't help that I'm an Illustrator too, we have a radar for beautiful people. Now beauty is very subjective, one who seems beautiful to many might seem so so to me, and vice versa. In that case, I must say that I have a taste for Filipino women. By now I'm sure that the whole female population of Malaysia are jeering at me, seething and fuming at the remark that I had just made. No I did not claim that Malaysian women are uglier or less attractive in any way. In my defense I have fallen in love with many Malaysian women. I'm just stating the fact that they have a higher ratio of beautiful women, or women that I would deem beautiful in the Philippines. And it's not just me, even my mother keeps on saying that. It is undeniable, they are everywhere. and mind you, they're not even models, these women are just shopkeepers, cashiers and salesgirls.

Pork is everywhere

Oh yes, Pork is everywhere. No, they're not hidden in a corner in bags sealed soo tight you can hardly recognise it. There, pork is displayed so beautifully, with different cures and marination, a wide variety of sausages, and so on. One food that I see every where, is what they called lechon something.. yea, I could only remember half the name, haha.. Its basically roasted pork or to be more exact piglet. It's what we call Shao Rou over here. Sad thing is I didn't get to try it. But I did get to try their Adobo Pork and barbecued baby back ribs( pork) and man was it good ....

The TV

Is good, or rather the shows that they have over there. Most American shows that we've been deprived of in Malaysia, they have over there. For instance, Attack of the Show and even The Price is Right. Not to mention they have a show called Fox Crime where you have nonstop shows of CSI Miami, New York and Las Vegas and any other crime related shows. One more thing I realized was that the movies that they show are actually in Hi-Def, unlike our low res Astro movies...

They have Christian Channels. Even though I missed church the Sunday I was there, I still managed to listen to talks and preachings on TV which was really good. Thank God for this chance.

Their Jeepneys and Tricycles

I'll post some pictures and you'll see what they look like..

I must say I find the jeepneys to be very ugly the first time I set my eyes upon them. There were soo many of them, but soon I started to like how different they looked, all with their own individuality. Yes they may look cheap and ugly, but some how drove the drivers themselves to decorate their jeepneys in ways they see fit, showing their personalities in the process.
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With all these things listed down, you might think, wow, why don't you just move there. Well, I have no intention of moving to Philippines at all. Just think of how much( or how little) you'd be earning with the exchange rate over there.

Seeing those things just made me wish that Malaysia was more like Philippines so many ways, but I cannot deny that Malaysia does have it's own qualities. While conversing with some of the locals, we came to realise that they very much admire Malaysia, " I like Malaysia, you guys are sooo focused in everything you do, we Filipinos have no idea where we are going. The country is lost."

This made me realise what I have in Malaysia. Yes, we might have many problems with the current governing body of this country. Yes, we have problems with the policies and the corruption and all that, but we should still love our country, I know I do, I love my country not my government.

That being said, I actually felt more at home when I was in Philippines. Could've been the fact that I look like them, and everywhere I go, they speak Tagalok to me, which I then have to explain my country of origin and they would later sheepishly comment on how much I look like them.

Perhaps it's the fact that in my own country people have no idea if I'm Chinese or Malay, or even anything else. Over there I'm , well, one of them.

I am planning to go back there again, and I might just wanna go back to the same motel/apartelle. But I'll have more things to do next time, more plans.

Wow...that was a long post. Actually I have a lot more to talk about...but hey, I, sleepy. Will post the pictures in Facebook soon...

Till then God Bless !

Call me Snake Eyes

It's 10 minutes to 2 a.m . I'm still awake , obviously.... It's been awhile since I've had a good night's sleep. Always finding myself sleeping at the back-side of the clock.

Weird enough I've been having the same dream for the past few days, not everyday but recurring almost every few days. Well, to be exact it's not exactly the same dream, but at least the same situation. Not exactly a good situation, some may even call it a nightmare, but hey, a dream's a dream...same thing to me.

Nope this was not the thing that's been keeping me up these all this time.

Some may actually say 2 a.m is still too early to sleep, perhaps not too early , but I believe the point they're making is they slept later than that. I recently found out a few friends of mine actually slept at 6 a.m and woke up at 8 or was it 9 a.m ... Either ways, that's just wrong, yea...but who's never done that.

I told my colleague I overslept because I forgot to reset my alarm, both my alarms actually. He said "Well, that's the side effects of insomnia..haha"...

Am I suffering from insomnia? I doubt it, if I was I know tons of people who share the same fate. Recent events have got me thinking about my life a lot more. By now I know most of you feel like you've read this before..haha.. Yes, Darren always rethinks about his life in a span of a few weeks.

I have to thank God for that. For moving me and molding my life in ways I could've never comprehended. In situations that I would've often disagreed with. I often find myself changing my mind over and over again. It's nobody's fault, it's who I am. Guess that's why I keep rethinking my life again and again. I can only pray that God does what He sees fit for me.

Guess that's why my life seems to be in overdrive right now. People complain of having nothing to do. They complain of being bored with their lives. My life's packed.

XEE training preparation, connect activities, Faith Station, Share Groups, Moon cake Festival Drama practices... and so on.. My week is fully booked. Of course except for my weekends, but I'm sure I'll think of some ways to reoccupy myself.

Now this is what I call a full life. A life in which I can live to the fullest of my potential. Which comes to the question,what's my full potential? What am I passionate about?

The truth is, I do not know...

So while I'm figuring that out, I might as well keep myself busy and if I'm keeping myself busy, I might as well be doing God's work. Because no matter what I choose to do, it is for His glory. Amen.

I'm sure by now, you'd ask, is Art not your passion? It was. It was before I came to TOA. It was before I graduated. It was before I started working at TOA. But art is such a wide subject, and being the indecisive man that I am, I just do not know.

Having seen so many things that I've seen while working at TOA, I cannot stop but stress on the fact that you need passion for your work.

You may argue that you work for money, but then don't you see that your passion is Money, and that's a good enough reason to be doing what you do. To some it might be enough, but not for me.

If any of my students are reading this, I hope you could ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing. The answer may be a really good one, it may be stupid, it might even really funny. I don't need to know what it is. Just as long as you believe your answer full hearted-ly. And no one else can tell you otherwise.

It is a comfort to know that I'm not the only one figuring out his life. Some people die without ever doing what their hearts desire most. never having the chance to fulfill their "destiny". Which is why I've been going around with this quote by Zach Braff

"Our body goes through puberty in its teens, and the mind goes through puberty in our twenties..."

Yea, I know... It's true though.

For those who's gone through all this, congratulations! The rest, well " You'll never walk alone..." ( Liverpool FC theme)

Am I writing all this to get your attention? No I'm not fishing for your sympathy, nor am I showing you any new age way of thinking.

Friend of mine revealed to me why she wrote on blogs. "To let it all out.." that's what she said. I guess.. To find an oulet for everything she's going through at that moment of time. Seems like exactly what I'm doing right now.

Like I mentioned, I change my mind quite often. Just reading this post of mine, you'd realise that I've changed the topic of discussion several times now. It's just how I roll baby... haha. But the wonderful thing about this is, I'd end up where I started, usually, not always. "What you've been searching has always been there all along" its a cliche, but it' usually is true. I feel like the guy who trashed his whole house looking for his watch only to realise he's been wearing it all along.

Truth be told, I started off thinking about reviewing G.I Joe, which was actually quite a good summer movie. Which is why I mentioned Snake Eyes.

Which actually got me thinking. Do snakes have eyelids?

Answer:

A snake's eyes are rounded and with lenses adjustable for distance vision. With the exception of the blind snakes, the eyes of a snake are permanently covered and protected by a transparent lower eyelid (called a spectable or brille). The fusion of the eyelids does not allow a snake to blink or close their eyes. Since the snake lacks external ear openings and eardrums, they hear by using their head to pick up vibrations and sounds from the ground. Experiments have shown that snakes can hear airborne sounds as well, although not well.

Its, 2.45 a.m now, I'm sleepy, but I can't sleep. Which makes me feel like I just can't close my eye lids. As if my eyes are always open.

hence,

Call me Snake Eyes.